Frequently Asked Questions

Emotional signs

• Persistent sadness, worry, or irritability lasting more than a few weeks

• Emotional outbursts that seem disproportionate to the situation

• Expressing hopelessness or talking about death/self-harm

Behavioral changes

• Withdrawing from friends, family, or activities they used to enjoy

• Declining school performance or refusing to go to school

• Regression (e.g., bedwetting, thumb-sucking in older children)

• Increased aggression or defiance beyond typical developmental stages

Physical complaints

• Frequent stomachaches or headaches with no medical cause (often linked to anxiety)

• Changes in sleep — nightmares, insomnia, or sleeping too much

• Significant changes in appetite or weight

Social signs

• Trouble making or keeping friendships

• Victim or perpetrator of bullying

• Pulling away from previously close relationships

Life events that often warrant support

• Divorce or family disruption

• Loss of a loved one

• Trauma or abuse

·   A major transition (move, new school, new sibling)

A helpful rule of thumb: If something is affecting your child's ability to function at home, school, or with peers — and it's been going on for 2+ weeks — it's worth consulting a professional.

Lead with love, not worry Frame it as something you're doing for them, not because something is wrong with them. "I want to make sure you always have support" lands better than "I'm worried about you."

Match your language to their age

• Young children (4–8): "We're going to meet someone whose whole job is to talk with kids about their feelings and help them with hard stuff — kind of like a feelings coach."

• Tweens (9–12): "Therapy is a private place where you can talk about anything — feelings, stress, whatever's on your mind — with someone who really knows how to help."

• Teens: Be more direct and honest. Acknowledge it's their choice to open up, and that the therapist is on their side, not a spy for you.

Normalize it

• "Lots of kids and adults go to therapy — even when nothing is terribly wrong."

• You can mention that you've gone, or would go, yourself if that's true.

Avoid overselling or over-explaining Keep it brief and calm. If you seem anxious about the conversation, they'll feel anxious too. A matter-of-fact tone signals that this is no big deal.

Give them some control Let them know their sessions are private. Offer choices where you can — like letting them pick a snack after the appointment. A sense of agency reduces resistance.

Expect some pushback — and that's okay Validate resistance: "I hear you, you don't think you need it. We're still going to try it and see how it feels." You don't need their buy-in to get started.

After the first session Avoid grilling them with questions. A simple "How was it?" or "Did you like her?" is enough. Let them lead.

The goal is for therapy to feel like a safe, stigma-free resource — not a punishment or a signal that something is broken.

"I don't need therapy, there's nothing wrong with me."

• "Therapy isn't just for when something is wrong — it's for anyone who wants to handle life's tough moments better. Even athletes have coaches."

• Avoid arguing about whether they "need" it. Just normalize it and hold the boundary.

"It's embarrassing / what will my friends think?"

• "What happens in therapy is private — your friends don't need to know."

• Remind them that many of their peers likely go too, they just don't talk about it.

"I don't want to talk to a stranger about my feelings."

• "You don't have to share anything you don't want to. You can just get to know them first."

• Reassure them that a good therapist won't force or pressure them to open up.

"You're just going to tell them everything about me."

• Be honest: "Your sessions are private. I won't be in the room, and the therapist won't share what you say unless you're in danger — that's the rule."

• Following through on this is crucial for trust.

"It won't help / it's stupid."

• "I hear you. Let's just try a few sessions and then we can talk about how it went."

• Commit to a set number of sessions (3–4) so it doesn't feel open-ended and overwhelming.

If they absolutely refuse:

• Don't force a screaming child into a session — it can backfire and create negative associations with therapy.

• Try a softer entry point: a pediatrician visit, a school counselor, or a family therapist where they're not the "identified patient."

• Consider going to therapy yourself first — modeling it removes stigma powerfully.

A few things to keep in mind:

• Stay calm and confident. If you waver, they'll sense it and push harder.

• Avoid bribing heavily, but small incentives (a favorite meal after, a fun outing) are fine.

• The resistance often melts after the first session once they realize it wasn't so bad.

Developmental focus

• Tween therapists (roughly ages 9–12) focus on the transition from childhood to adolescence — identity formation, peer pressure beginnings, school stress, and managing big emotions that feel new to them.

• Teen therapists (roughly ages 13–18) focus on more complex adolescent issues — autonomy, romantic relationships, identity (including gender and sexuality), and higher-stakes decisions.

Therapy style

• Tweens often do better with more structured, activity-based approaches — games, art, or worksheets — because pure talk therapy can feel uncomfortable or boring at that age.

• Teens can typically engage in more traditional talk therapy, though many still benefit from creative or expressive approaches.

Communication approach

• Tween therapists tend to use simpler, more concrete language and metaphors.

• Teen therapists use more adult-level dialogue and often work harder to establish peer-like rapport so the teen doesn't feel "talked down to."

Common issues addressed

• Tweens: Friendship drama, academic pressure, early anxiety, family changes, self-esteem.

• Teens: Depression, anxiety, dating relationships, substance use, self-harm, identity, and future planning.

Parental involvement

• Tween therapy typically involves parents more — check-ins, progress updates, and parent coaching are common.

• Teen therapy usually keeps parents at more of a distance to protect the teen's trust and autonomy.

A parent check-in is 15 -20 minutes long and is free. A parent session is 30-50 minutes long and is a full fee psychotherapy session.

Young Children (Ages 4–8) Parents are very involved — the child can't drive themselves or advocate for their own needs yet.

• You'll often participate in parent-only sessions to provide background and context

• Therapist may use play therapy and will debrief you on themes (without breaking the child's trust)

• You'll receive coaching on how to reinforce skills at home

• Progress updates are frequent and collaborative

• You are essentially a co-therapist at home

Tweens (Ages 9–12) Involvement begins to shift — still significant, but with more boundaries.

• Parent check-ins are common but usually brief and separate from the child's session

• Therapist may share general themes and progress without specific details

• You may be brought in for family-focused sessions when dynamics are part of the issue

• Therapist may give you strategies to use at home

• Your child starts having more say in what gets shared with you

Teens (Ages 13–18) Parental involvement steps back considerably to protect trust and autonomy.

• Sessions are largely private — therapist typically won't share content without the teen's consent

• You may get occasional general updates ("they're engaging well, here are some ways to support them at home")

• Confidentiality exceptions still apply — therapist will always inform you if your teen is in danger

• Family sessions may be recommended when communication or conflict is part of the work

• Your role shifts to creating a supportive environment at home rather than being in the room

A psychotherapy session is 50 minutes long.

• The original concerns that brought them in have significantly improved

• They have developed coping skills they can use independently

• They're functioning well at home, school, and socially

• Sessions start to feel repetitive or like there's nothing new to discuss

• Your child is asking to stop and can articulate feeling better

• The therapist themselves recommends transitioning out

• Progress has been made but stressors are still present

• Your child still struggles to use coping skills without prompting

• A major life transition is coming (move, divorce, new school) that may bring new challenges

• Your child wants to stop mainly to avoid difficult topics

• Good therapists don't abruptly stop — they do a gradual tapering (moving from weekly to biweekly to monthly)

• There's usually a few closure sessions to reflect on progress and celebrate growth

• They'll create a plan for the future — what to do if symptoms return

• The door is typically left open to return if needed

Important things to know

• Ending therapy is not a failure if things come back — returning is a sign of self-awareness, not regression

• Some children do seasonal check-ins rather than fully ending

• Teens especially may resist ending because the therapist has become a trusted figure — that's normal and worth processing in session